Finding a suitable love partner is like fitting two pieces of a puzzle together. You have to know what your piece is shaped like in order to know what pieces might join with it harmoniously. Do you like a lot of alone time? Do you enjoy deep conversations and frequent contact? Do you like attending sporting events or classical music? Do you tend to watch action movies or romances?
All of these different preferences make a big difference over time in a couple’s experience of the relationship. We have all heard that “opposites attract” and there are lots of stories of this phenomena we can cite. But ask yourself whether those “opposite” couples argue more often. Inferno love is exciting, but floating easily down the love river is pretty relaxing and nurturing.
“And what is the right woman, the right man? Someone who wants to go in the same direction as you do, someone who is compatible with your views and your values– emotionally, physically, economically, spiritually.”
― Miguel Ruiz
Act of Self Love
Go out on lots of dates with many people and do different types of activities. Notice the dates you prefer because you liked the nature of the outing, and pay attention to the personality traits that make you feel safe, interested and happy. Try the “fireworks” chemistry as well as the “slow burn.” See which you prefer.
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