Be your own cake

Consider what would happen if you brought the eggs and milk, and your love partner brought the flour and chocolate, and you baked a cake together. Now you each want your ingredients back. Ooops. Difficult to separate the eggs and milk out of the cake.

Different scenario, you have a complete cake, and allow your love partner to supply the frosting. If you two decide to part ways, you just scrape off the frosting and you’ve still got a whole cake.

Moral: Know how to meet all of your own needs and fill yourself with love. The love partner is then just extra sweetness.

“Romantic love is the story of how you need another person to complete you. It’s an absolutely insane story. My experience is that I don’t need anyone to complete me. As soon as I realize that, everyone completes me.”
— Byron Katie

Act of Self Love

This assignment is to help your body “get it” that you are your own complete cake.

  1. Bake your favorite cake. Smell it deeply, touch it, and see its structure and beauty.
  2. Spread frosting on it. Notice how exciting that is. This is like romantic love.
  3. Scrape the frosting off the cake. Take into your awareness that it may not be as exciting as the frosted cake, but the substance of that cake is still there.

You don’t need anyone to complete you.


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